Annual Amime Mamma's Boys Convention
by reebajee
Summary: Edward Elric, Haruhi Fujioka and Kurama Minamino Shuichi find themselves in a short interview on Mothers. Random humorous Ouran Highschool Host Club, Fullmetal Alchemist, Yu Yu Hakusho Crossover.


Three startled anime characters arranged in height order blinked rapidly as they were suddenly blinded by flashing light. Loud theme music and applause joined the stimulus and when the flashing died down they found themselves somehow on stage, facing an enormous audience with a woman who looks like a mixture between Koto, Renge and Maes Hughes disturbingly enough wearing a pink cape holding a microphone and hamming it up for the crowd.

"Welcome to the annual anime mamma's boys' convention!" The woman announced enthusiastically. "Allow me to introduce today's three panelists: On the right we have Meiou High's very own Demon fox avatar, Suichi Kurama Minamino! To the left we have Amestrian State Alchemist Edward Fullmetal Elric! And finally in the middle we have Ouran High School Host Club's natural type, Haruhi Fujioka! Give them all a hand! Now, let us begin with a- oh, yes Fujioka? What is it you wanted to say?" The show host broke off at Haruhi's raised hand.

"Yeah, I don't know who you are or how I got here, but I'm a girl. My mom is dead. Can I leave?" She asked.

"Why of course not! You craft your school persona as a male, and your devotion to your late mother is apparent even now, ten years after her premature end. Once a mamma's boy, always one to the very end. Our dear Mr. Elric's mother is also dead, so you have nothing to fear! Now, let us begin with a few questions. What is the greatest thing about your mother? We'll start with Minamino."

The aforementioned redhead delicately crossed his legs and placed his hand on a knee. "Well, considering you are already aware of my nature and have announced it to the entire audience, I suppose I have no more to lose in telling you. My mother lived me unconditionally, even as the ancient soul within me caused her great hardships. I must have caused her great pain to raise a child so utterly condescending of all human kind, and yet she managed to do the impossible, by simply loving me with all her foolish heart, she managed to gain mine as well."

Kurama finished, his honest recount earning him a smile from the girl to his right.

"That's- *sob* a moving tale… it brings me to tears." The announcer pulled out a hanky. "Your clearly love your mother very much. Next? Fujioka, what is the greatest thing about your mother?"

The cross-dressing panelist shrugged. "Well, it may not be as incredible as what Minamio's mom did, but my mom was a lawyer. I can still see the image of her now, standing in the doorway in her business suit, confident grin on her face, ready to take on the court room like she would take on the world; battling with wits and words. My mom was strong, and smart. She's my idol, and every day I strive to be just like her." She ended with a confident grin and a fist landing in her other open palm.

"Oh! What a beautiful story! Finally, Elric, tell us about your mother!" The host prodded.

Ed put his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling in thought. "Well, mom always had these kind eyes, so compassionate. She took care of my brother and me for years after my shitty dad left. We both loved her like mad, and she'd have had to have been a saint to put up with all the shit our bastard father put her through by leaving."

"She sounds like a lovely woman!" The host beamed. Turning a page of her notepad she added, "Now for your worst memories involving your mothers! Now how about ladies first this time?"

Haruhi looked down. "Well… I guess that would be when I found out she had died. I was pretty young at the time so I didn't really understand at the time, but when I realized what it meant…"

Kurama nodded sympathetically. "I too would have to say my worst memory regarding my mother was when I was told she was going to die."

"Yeah." Ed agreed.

Taking in the depressed air about her panelists, the host sweat-dropped, looking for a question to lighted the mood. "Well! For our next question: What is the biggest thing you have ever done for your mother? Elric?"

The alchemist stiffened and averted his gaze. "We… um, we tried to resurrect her from the dead."

"… Care to elaborate?" The woman asked.

"No."

"…Okay then!" The show host clapped her hands as if to dispel any awkwardness lingering in the air. "Fujioka? What about you?"

Haruhi put a hand to her lips, thinking, chuckling when she came up with something. "Well, this one time when it was her birthday, I got up really early because I wanted to throw a surprise party. The thing is though, I wanted to do it all on my own because I knew if I got dad involved he'd ruin the secret. He never could lie to mom. I'm also not as big of a fan of glitter as dad can be sometimes. Anyway, since I was five at the time and couldn't buy anything on my own, I decorated the whole house in toilet paper that I decorated with markers and cooked her breakfast. She ended up waking up earlier than planned and I didn't get to give her breakfast in bead like I wanted to. It was good that she did though because I had forgotten to turn the stove off and what with all the toilet paper around, I almost burned the whole house down!"

"Awwwe!… " The announcer squealed. "Quite the endearing tale! Now, Minamino! What is the greatest thing you've done for your mother?"

"I attempted to sacrifice my own life to save that of my mother, who was fatally ill at the time. As you can see, I am still alive, but I fully intended to die that fateful night, were it not for… what you could perhaps call divine intervention."

"… well then." The hostess said after a brief pause. Glancing at her watch she regained her vigor and grinned brightly, turning to the audience with a blinding smile. "Well it seems we're out of time for tonight folks! Give a warm thank you to our wonderful guest panelists Kurama, Haruhi and Edward who'll be participating in a Karaoke contest after the break!"

She then vanished, missing her guests' strangled cries of 'Wait what?!"


End file.
